Saturday, June 21, 2008


You know, I don't think there's any time in the last two years that I've thought, boy, I really wish people knew what I was doing right now. I haven't been hitting any hot clubs, having any deep and meaningful conversations in coffeeshops, observing things quirkily by myself in the rain. Moreover, the sense that I need to share my life with the world because nobody is OBSERVING me, dammit, has been permanently obviated by the fact that I am followed everywhere by a small human appendage. Including to the bathroom. (Are there many tweets from the toilet? How close do people take this minute-by-minute life documentation thing? And man, how sorry are you that Yoko Ono is too old for Twitter?) Plus, now that the appendage has taken to parroting my every utterance, I'm even getting a fairly constant stream of feedback.

"Let's build a sandcastle!"
"Do you want to go in and get something to drink?"
"Dink!" (Generally repeated several times, like an extremely small fratboy.)
"Oh holy sh**! Fu**!" (In response to the cranberry juice being poured on the white couch.)
"Fik! Fik!"

And this is why Twitter is not for parents. We already have micro-blogs. They're called THE TINY BRAINS OF CHILDREN! MWAH AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!

(Thanks to Rekha for her post.)


Rekha M said...

How very true. To answer your question, I know of no toilet twitters, though I am sure they exist. A friend of mine claims to have twittered the birth of her child. But remember, at that point the little one had no voice or comprehension, so microblogging, however odd you might consider such behavior, was not yet redundant.

Kris said...

I've scooted over here from bluemilk and I really liked this. 'Tis all true. I'm also finding I twitter verbally:
I am now going to go into the kitchen to get a drink of water
Where are you going Mummy?
I am going into the kitchen to get a drink of water and then I am coming back
Because I am thirsty

ad infinitum.

Why write it when we live it?

Anonymous said...

Forget Twitter... I want a baby!!!